Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
