why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
