Umm I'm too high to move.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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