Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
