this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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