Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize