got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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