Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She's the barista slut.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize