So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
