Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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