I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
