i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
