Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
