How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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