In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
