I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
