I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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