So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
