I wish life had little blips of pornography
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
