I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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