Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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