The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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