so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
