Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
