i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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