It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
