If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
