she smelled like a LAN party
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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