god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
