I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
