i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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