Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(309): View more from Illinois

I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..

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(252): View more from North Carolina

it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning

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(416): View more from Toronto

WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.

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(360): View more from Washington

Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.

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