You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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