he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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