It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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