Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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