u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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