areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
