you win again, gameday.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
