Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
