so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
