Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The Olympian is in my bed
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