So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
