I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
