Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
