I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
