physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
