If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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