Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
