she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize