Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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