oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
How external is "for external use only"?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
