She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
