So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
