Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
