I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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