I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
