Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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