I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
